Botched Dong Surgery Leads To Botched Hit

Have you ever heard of the “Yakuza?” They’re the Japanese version of the Mafia…and they’re not to be messed with. Turns out, one of the most notorious branches is called “Yoshinobu Nakata,” and their senior member is Satoru Nomura. Why do you care? You don’t…but a nurse sure does.

Officials say she was lucky to survive a “hit” that was allegedly ordered on her in 2013. We say “allegedly” because the trial just started, and because we don’t want him looking for us…you know, just in case. Why the hit? The 70-year-old crime boss was more than a little pissed after what he deemed a “botched” weenus enlargement surgery.

Nomura went in for the growth procedure, and a little hair-removal, of course. Afterwards, he got into an argument with the nurse over what were called “postoperative difficulties.” Like any right-thinking crime boss, it appears that he thought the best course of action was to have her stabbed in the neck, chest, and head while she walked down the street. There are no details on how much bigger his schlong is…if at all.

Source: BroBible



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